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As summer winds its way to a close and school begins again, many high school students are immediately thrown into the deep end of juggling an ever-increasing workload, a part-time job, and numerous athletics and extracurriculars.
With this immediate increase in stress, managing the pressures that begin to mount up is often challenging. However, there are a few ways to deal with the school time stress healthily.Read More
The birth of a new baby can elicit various feelings for everyone in the family, including any newly minted older siblings. Every individual child will react uniquely. While some may find their new role as “Big brother” or “Big Sister” brings pride, status, and new privileges and freedoms, others may wonder – “Why’d you go and get another one?”
About 6-8 weeks after the birth of my daughter, whom my two ½-year-old son initially reacted to with love and adoration, he posed the question: “When do we take her back?”. His question helped me recognize the magnitude of this change for him and the lack of understanding he had about the growth of our family and the permanence of his baby sister.
The newness and excitement of a baby can be entertaining for siblings—the extra gifts are fun, the attention from others is thrilling. But after the baby is home and the regular routines have shifted for a while, siblings, especially between the ages of 2-6, may start to wonder how long this will last. They may begin to question this change in their household and how it affects the availability and focus of mom and dad.
As a result, you may observe some regression to their behavior, such as wanting to be picked up more often, acting like a baby, or struggling with toilet training when they previously had it mastered. They may react with anger or obstinance – refusing to listen, help or spend time with the new baby. Rest assured that these reactions are normal and typically short-lived, especially when parents recognize these behaviors as their way of communicating their confusion and attempting to understand the change. Stay calm and help your child manage these behaviors without punishment. Assure that all is okay, and providing extra attention and flexibility can help with this major adjustment in their lives.
Here are some tips for helping older siblings transition before, during, and after the baby’s arrival.
Help them form a tangible connection to the baby
Find real-life examples to help them understand
Show the positives of being an older sibling
As the pregnancy continues and the baby’s arrival gets closer, ask them if they have any questions and offer answers on their level that they can understand – short, simple answers are best.
Sibling Gifts
Emphasize their role as “big” sibling
Provide reassurance and physical/emotional connection
Praise/prioritize the older child’s role as “helper”
Encourage imaginative play to help process
Utilize the available time to provide quality, individual connection
Provide stability, space, and calm responses
We’re all recuperating, adjusting, creating the new norm when a baby arrives. Our “big kids” don’t have the knowledge or coping skills to manage this change smoothly. Approach them with understanding, patience, and love, and before you know it, the growing “pains” of the family will lead to a strong family unit where everyone has a place, a role, and stays long term.
At Birthright St. Charles, we are here to support maternal mental health and the well-being of women and their families. Through support groups, professional counseling at no cost, and connection to resources, we can help you make a plan that fits best for your life and support you in the transition of adding a little one to your family.
Seven in ten girls believe that they’re not good enough or don’t measure up to society’s standards, whether it’s looks, performance in school, family life, or relationships with friends. Over 70% of girls age 15 to 17 avoid normal daily activities, such as simply attending school, when they’re feeling insecure.Read More
Around six months ago, I noticed I wasn’t sleeping as well as I had been in the past. I was having a hard time falling asleep, and I would wake up several times a night. My typical routine was to get into bed and scroll on my phone until I felt I could fall asleep; checking emails and phone notifications turned into hours of social media scrolling. My head would become filled with the latest news headlines, the current Covid statistics, and pictures of the seemingly amazing lives of my friends.Read More
“Thank you, but it’s just not the right time” How often do we find ourselves repeating this common mantra with a slight wince?
“I would, but it’s not the right time” can be a way to fill a blank space in a conversation or life situation that is pulling us towards something we don’t feel prepared for. Facing profound decisions or potential commitments can signal our hesitation and self-doubt about if we could do what is being asked of us or are capable of the effort required. There can be a level of excitement mixed with fear or anxiety.Read More
Some people naturally struggle with reaching out and asking for help. I should know; I am one of them. The truth is, it’s hard to ask for help. While I can’t say I’ve completed a journey of discovery to find myself and have finally moved past this issue, I am proud to say I’m working on it. While I’ve made improvements, I know I have a long way to go, and I know other teenagers like me also struggle.Read More
Self-care is a term that we hear more and more in our world, especially in the mental health care profession. As a professional counselor, one of the questions I may ask someone is, “what does your self-care routine look like?” The reactions to that inquiry range from, “What is that?” to a detailed routine that is immovable.
I would venture to say, when it comes to our self-care, many of us fall somewhere in the middle of these two extremes. We are striving to care for ourselves so that we can be our best selves.Read More
At Birthright, we realize there are varying reasons why an unplanned pregnancy may elevate to the status of ‘crisis’; one of those is when pregnancy occurs in the midst of a domestic violence situation. Sadly, 1 in 4 women in America will experience physical violence at the hands of their intimate partner during their lifetime.
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, pregnancy is the 2nd most dangerous time in an abusive relationship. Pregnancy can escalate the risk of abuse especially if the pregnancy was unplanned. Sometimes the partner may be jealous of the attention given to a woman or her baby to be. There may also be increased stress due to financial hardships that pregnancy may bring can heighten the risk.Read More
Dear stressed out Mama,
I see you.
I see you relishing the amazing thing that motherhood is, while still feeling totally overwhelmed and exhausted at the end of the day. I see you being pulled in a hundred different directions and trying to make everything work for everyone else without a second thought to your own needs.
I see the guilt you feel in those moments you do stop to take care of yourself. I see your grimace when others try to make you feel guilty for spending any time or money on yourself, and the shame that creeps in as you silently concede “maybe they’re right.”Read More
Whether you are a size one or a size 13, 5’1” or 6’2” you are beautiful in a unique way, in which no one else can be.
Social media shares the idea that being skinny and tall is the equivalent of being beautiful. Still, this idea is far from the truth. So what is considered the “perfect,” beautiful body? The simple answer is all of them! This false depiction of the “perfect body” from social media has been circulating through our feeds and implanted in our minds, providing us with harmful, self-conscious thoughts. Read More
